GOP Senate candidate vows to answer 'tough' questions—but not about abortion

President Biden may be old, but he’s not nearly as old as Republicans’ policy prescriptions, which could occupy their own multibillion-dollar wing in the Museum of Historically Bad Ideas. (Be sure to check out the gift shop, where you’ll find a Dred Scott snow globe and the new Donald Trump See ‘n Say, now featuring “Why don’t we nuke North Korea and blame it on another country?”)

Of course, many Republicans know deep down in their souls—i.e., roughly 2 millimeters according to standard measures, but 2,000 fathoms in adjusted GOP soul depths—that their ideas are super unpopular, which is why they go to such extraordinary lengths to hide them.

The latest goofball GOPster to turn tail and run when confronted with the awfulness of his own party is Bernie Moreno, who’s running against Ohio Sen. Sherrod Brown—and away from anything resembling a tough question. Which is odd because during a Thursday huddle with reporters, Moreno insisted he was there to answer all the tough questions. (Spoiler alert: He didn’t.)

For fans of Republican hypocrisy, watching this clip will feel a bit like snorting a Hefty bag full of black tar heroin. For fans of honesty and decency, it’s like snorting a colony of mutant fire ants the size of dwarf lemurs.

MORENO: I can tell you this: If I’m here, I will talk to you at any point in time, even take tough questions. Sherrod Brown won’t do that. And again, that should tell you some things. And again, didn’t we see that with Biden? They kept him in a cocoon, they kept him in a basement, refused to take questions. Even the White House has said the press conference today is the big-boy press conference. Think about that for a second. That’s insane. If you can’t come out here and address the media and talk to reporters and give your position, be unequivocal and clear, you have no business being in elected office. And I think that’s generationally what we got to get rid of, is these guys that hide behind staff, hide behind their offices, zoom from one meeting to another so they’re not accountable. Those days have got to be over. We need people that are clear and transparent and tell people where they stand. And sometimes, by the way, that means that you’re going to be controversial and you’re going to say something that maybe not everyone agrees on, but that’s what you owe your voters.

Of course, Biden’s “big boy” press conference went pretty well, aside from a couple of brain farts, which the media has decided to Dutch-oven us with until the next time Biden speaks—as if Trump’s brain isn’t an unquenchable methane fire that’s been burning out of control for decades. (Say, remember when Trump repeatedly claimed he was running against Barack Obama, said Nikki Haley was in charge of Capitol security, thought his sexual-abuse accuser was actually his ex-wife, and thought it was Saturday afternoon when it was clearly Friday night? Because the media sure as shit don’t.)

But while Biden stood in front of reporters for an hour on Thursday and answered every question—while demonstrating the kind of foreign-policy chops Donald Trump could only dream of showing—Moreno somehow wilted after just one.

REPORTER: You said earlier this week that you support some restrictions on abortions after 15 weeks. Do you think that that contradicts what the party’s new platform and new position is on this issue overall?

MORENO (VOICE LOWERED): Look, we’re not here to talk about abortion. My position is crystal, crystal clear, has not changed on abortion. You’re going to see the Democrats pull out everything they’ve got to try to change the subject. Let me just restate this again. You have somebody at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave. that is incapable, does not have the mental acumen to complete his duties. We’ve never been in this situation as a country in modern American history, and it was covered up by the Democrats and by Sherrod Brown.

In other words, “Don’t ask me that tough question. Ask me this other tough question—which isn’t a ‘question’ so much as a setup for my carefully curated talking points.”

Of course, this would all be comical if it weren’t so tragic. As the media continues to harp on Biden’s age and intermittent brain lapses (psst, the other guy is a literal felon and business fraudster who tried to end American democracy), Republicans are temporarily getting a pass when it comes to one of their biggest vulnerabilities. But while Biden’s press conference should have put many voters’ minds at ease, Republicans remain simply awful—and egregiously out of touch with mainstream America—on the abortion issue. And their “brilliant” solution is to keep it in the basement.

But we need look no further than the refulgently juvenile, all-caps Republican “platform”—which was totally not written by Donald Trump on a random Tuesday as he impatiently waited in the drive-through lane at McDonald’s—to see what they have in store for America’s women. On its surface, the platform appears to soften the GOP’s traditional—and now radioactive—pro-forced-birth posture, but if you read between the lines, yet more awfulness emerges.

As Daily Kos’ Joan McCarter points out, a portion of the platform that wasn’t written in all caps (presumably because the authors managed to distract Trump with a squeaky plastic hamburger and a laser pointer) makes it clear that Republicans’ assault on reproductive rights is far from over.

Page 15 of the platform states, “We believe that the 14th Amendment to the Constitution of the United States guarantees that no person can be denied Life or Liberty without Due Process, and that the States are, therefore, free to pass Laws protecting those Rights. After 51 years, because of us, that power has been given to the States and to a vote of the People. We will oppose Late Term Abortion, while supporting mothers and policies that advance Prenatal Care, access to Birth Control, and IVF (fertility treatments).”

Okay, sure. But as McCarter points out, that’s clearly a call for enacting more draconian limits on abortion.

That affirms the extreme anti-abortion belief that the 14th Amendment “protects” the unborn. It’s the guiding principle behind the “fetal personhood” efforts anti-abortion zealots have been pushing in individual states in recent decades.

It’s right here in black and white from The Heritage Foundation, the group that brought us Project 2025.

“Congress may require states to treat persons equally by, for example, prohibiting abortion when it also prohibits homicide after birth,” Senior Legal Fellow Thomas Jipping wrote after the Trump-packed Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade.

Meanwhile, other Republicans who, in the past, proudly trumpeted their pro-forced-birth bona fides—folks like Nevada Senate candidate Sam Brown and Arizona Senate candidate/non-Gov. Kari Lake—have scurried away from their previous stances faster than Subway dropped Jared.

And all indications are that Americans are not remotely ready to forget about their sudden lack of reproductive autonomy. According to a recent Gallup poll, 32% of voters say they’ll vote solely on the abortion issue, and the vast majority of these are pro-abortion-rights. In the same survey, 51% of voters indicated it is “very important” that future Supreme Court nominees share their views on abortion.

Yes, Biden is old, and a quick back-of-the-envelope calculation shows that—oh, fuck!—he’ll be slightly older in November. But Republicans’ views on abortion are old, tired, and definitely not getting any younger.

We’re still months away from the election, and while the big story now is Biden’s age, the Yellin’ Felon is still the guy who almost single-handedly overturned Roe v. Wade; said women who get abortions should be punished; wants abortion decided by the states, no matter how cruel their laws turn out to be; would be in line to appoint even more radical Supreme Court justices; and remains up to his neck in Project 2025, which explicitly calls for restricting access to abortion pills.

And when the current Biden kerfuffle dies down—or the Democrats swap out candidates—Republicans will still face a glaring vulnerability on abortion. Ever since the Dobbs v. Jackson Women's Health Organization decision dropped two years ago, Democrats have overperformed at the ballot box, despite assurances from the punditocracy that red waves were surely coming. But as we all know, the past is not necessarily prologue, so it’s up to us to remind voters what Trump and Republicans have done, what they’re still hiding, and what they plan to do if they regain power.

Just don’t ask a Republican what those plans are, because you’ll never get a straight answer.

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